


I'm Still Here

by VenyWrites



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, Fluff, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 10:51:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11735526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenyWrites/pseuds/VenyWrites
Summary: Reader helps Bucky transition into life at the compound, but he quickly realizes how important she becomes to him. (I am the worst at summaries, I’m so sorry)This was my entry for @sincerelysaraahh’s July fairytale challenge. My Movie was Treasure Planet. My story is a fluffy fic based on the song ‘I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme)’ by Johnny Rzeznik from the Treasure Planet Original Motion Picture Soundtrack.





	I'm Still Here

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna begin by apologizing that there isn’t that much dialog in this story, but I wanted this to be sort of like a journal entry, since it’s from Bucky’s POV. I really suggest hearing the song before reading this, to better understand the feel of the story. I might make a short second part drabble with the events of the night described from the reader’s POV. Let me know if you’d like that. I edited this as best as I could on my own. I usually have friends that can proofread for me, but I didn’t have enough time, so I apologize for any mistakes. The text in bold are the song lyrics.

I’ve known Y/N for a long time, and it was only a couple of months ago that I finally opened up to her. After being HYDRA’s puppet for so long, I didn’t know how to trust myself around other people very well.

**I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard** **  
****Or a moment that’s held in your arms** **  
** **And what do you think you’d ever say?**

It didn’t take the team very long to forgive me. And as soon as they did, they helped me move into the compound, trained with me, and Tony even invited me to the parties he held every other week. Civilians, on the other hand, were still a little skeptical about me. They didn’t believe that someone who caused so much pain and death could ever redeem himself. Who cares that I didn’t have control over myself when it was happening? Who cares that I was in hiding for 2 whole years without hurting anyone? Who cares that even after being cured in Wakanda, I still can’t sleep because the nightmares are as vivid as they’ve always been?

**I won’t listen anyway  
** You don’t know me  
And I’ll never be what you want me to be 

That’s why, when Sam convinced Steve to bring Y/N over to help, I was doubtful. How can someone who doesn’t know anything about me, but the things that are being shown by reporters, help me in any way? Still, I knew Steve was only trying to help, so I gave it a shot. For him.

**And what do you think you’d understand?  
** **I’m a boy; no, I’m a man** **  
** **You can’t take me and throw me away**

               For the most part, I tried. I swear I did. But how can I trust someone I don’t know? How do I know that at the first fuck up she won’t run away scared, screaming at the top of her lungs saying that the monster that everyone thought I was, was real? Since the beginning she treaded carefully, but that didn’t mean she held back. She was careful, but not afraid. Her stubbornness about wanting me to let her in, made her ease her way into my heart.

**And how can you learn what’s never shown?  
** Yeah, you stand here on your own **  
** **They don’t know me cause I’m not here**

               But the thing that broke down my wall completely, what made me realize I could trust her, was the first time she held me during one of my routinely expected nightmares. She was assigned the room across the hall from mine, and was given (without my knowing) a key to my room, in case of emergencies. This specific night, was a particularly bad one. I barely remember the dream itself, and the parts that I do remember are blurry. A train, a dirt road, so much blood, and a lot of pain.

               I don’t know when she got into the room, but I remember her hands holding my face. Her warmth surrounding my body, and her soft voice calming the storm inside my head. In the morning when I woke up, I saw her small figure lying on the floor beside my bed. The couch cushions giving her comfort against the cold tile floor.

**And you see the things they never see  
** All you wanted I could be  
Now you know me, and I’m not afraid 

It was then that I realized how important she actually was to me. After that night, I became aware of her presence, guarding me like an angel. Watching over me, guiding me, helping me with smallest of details. Holding my hand at the slightest sound that resembles gunshot, using her soothing voice when I feel like I’m about to lose my temper, but most of all, never letting me suffer through my nightmares alone.

**And I want to tell you who I am  
** Can you help me be a man?  
They can’t break me as long as I know who I am 

I noticed my improvements within a matter of weeks, and when I overheard Steve mentioned to the group that I seemed more like myself, my old self, I knew there was no way I’d ever live without her. It took me about a month and a half, Steve’s pep talks, and Sam’s intrusions to finally ask her out on a date. I didn’t think she’d say yes, but it was a risk I was willing to take. The moment I realized she had agreed to go out with me, I felt like I was 19 years old again. Full of hope and excitement, venturing into the unknown.

**They can’t tell me who to be  
** Cause I’m not what they see  
Yeah, the world is still sleepin’  
While I keep on dreaming for me  
And their words are just whispers  
And lies that I’ll never believe 

It’s been 4 years since she first came into the compound. Unaware of how far she’d have to go for the one patient no one wanted to treat. The one challenge she couldn’t keep herself away from. Now here we are, hours away from changing our lives for good. And here I am, writing in this journal, when I should be writing my vows. We are mere hours from becoming one, and I am as nervous as I was on that first date. I never imagined life could be this way for me, never thought I’d ever find someone who would find me worthy of their love.

**And I want a moment to be real  
** Want to touch things I don’t feel  
Wanna hold on, and feel I belong  
And how can you say I’ll never change  
They’re the ones that stay the same  
I’m the one now cause I’m still here 


End file.
